What I've Learned
A couple shares key financial and life lessons.
Lavonda Trentham guides her husband, Denver, into the new addition of their home. It’s time for physical therapy again. He’s at No. 10, which is the NuStep machine’s highest level. One hour twice a day. Every day. Most people in good shape couldn’t do that.
“Every day is a new gift wrapped a different way. We choose how we unwrap it, and what we do with it,” says Lavonda, a Modern Woodmen member and youth club leader from Parrottsville, Tenn.
It’s this determination and positive outlook that helps Lavonda and Denver get out of bed each morning, ready to tackle a new day’s challenges. The couple’s retirement isn’t what they planned, but they’re thankful for it – for the progress Denver has made since his strokes, the support of their community and the financial security that has made life with disabilities more enjoyable.
Here the Trenthams share lessons they’ve learned in finances … and in life.
What we learned after stroke No. 4
Denver was 60 when he retired from the postal service. Like many new retirees he had travel on his mind, but life took a dramatic turn on a Friday only a year and a half later.
The first stroke paralyzed his left side. The following Friday, the second and third strokes affected his right side, speech, swallowing and balance. The third Friday in a row, his fourth and final stroke affected the left side again.
At age 61, Denver had to relearn everything.
Home makeover
Before Denver could return from the hospital, their house needed to be prepared. That meant a new room addition, disability access for the bathroom, ramps, a hospitable bed and more.
“There are so many added expenses that come with sickness,” says Lavonda. “Insurance covers a lot, but a lot has to be taken out of your own pocket.”
Money the couple had saved in retirement funds and Modern Woodmen annuities has helped to cover these costs. Denver’s life insurance costs are also covered through waiver of premium.
“We just thought as younger people [saving for the future] was the thing we should do,” Lavonda says. “It’s been a blessing to have the extra money. Had we not had that, we would have been in a lot worse shape than we are now. It’s made our life much more livable and enjoyable.”
The couple is also thankful for assistance received through a Modern Woodmen fundraiser sponsored by the local camp. “We were just flabbergasted by the number of people who came,” says Lavonda. “The community support has been wonderful.”
If we knew then …
The Trenthams’ best financial advice is to start saving at a young age. “We’d advise any young couple to start saving earlier than we did,” says Denver. “We didn’t start until we were in our 40s.”
“People need to put aside money a little earlier if they can,” Lavonda adds. “A disability can happen to anybody – young or old. Just be prepared.”
Lavonda and Denver’s devotion to one another is just as strong today as it has been throughout their 43-year marriage. The couple hasn’t spent one day apart for the last four and a half years due to Denver’s condition. Although he still requires constant care, he’s made remarkable progress. He has relearned how to chew, swallow and talk, and (with Lavonda’s assistance) he can walk through the house with a walker.
Retirement doesn’t look the way the Trenthams envisioned it. But thanks to early financial planning and a positive outlook, they are still able to enjoy life. “We didn’t get to enjoy retirement the way we wanted, but I’m still here,” says Denver.
And for this optimistic couple, that’s what really matters.
What I know now
These financial and life lessons have taught strength of character and a wisdom that will follow these members throughout their lives.
As Lavonda guides Denver into their wheelchair-accessible van for a trip to town, she’s thankful for having saved enough money in her younger years to be able to purchase this luxury, which has become a necessity of life. She’s also reminded of a day four and a half years ago when a trip to town with her husband seemed out of the question.
“Face life with a positive attitude,” Lavonda recommends. “When times are down, there is always hope. It might be a different way of living, but it’s a wonderful life. We have to live it to the fullest.”