Be a Sport
Are you a good role model for your kids?

When one irate father killed another father over a dispute in an adolescent hockey team practice, people were stunned. This unimaginable incident is an extreme example of the undercurrent of nasty, violent behavior, which sometimes taints youth sports. While most of us never take our outrage and fanaticism to such extremes as that East Coast hockey father, our behavior doesn’t have to make headlines to have a negative impact on our children’s view of what it means to “be a good sport.”

Be a good role model

“American parents are often overzealous,” says Fred Engh, president of the National Alliance for Youth Sports in West Palm Beach, Fla. “They often forget themselves and display a lot of emotional immaturity at children’s sporting events.”

The best place for parents to begin teaching their child sportsmanship is by examining their own behavior. Here are some simple things parents can do to display good sportsmanship. 

Cheer for all children, even those on the other team.  A good play or good effort is good, no matter who makes it. If you focus on just your own child, you are telling others and your child that you don’t care about the team or event. If you cheer for everyone, your kids get the idea that it’s all about giving your best effort and having fun, not about winning and losing.

Try not to put your child on a pedestal.  Not only will bragging about your child’s skills offend and irritate others, but it will also put a lot of pressure on your child. Parents have been known to complain about a coach playing a less skilled child than their own. Remember, every child deserves a chance to play.

Don’t criticize the players, including your own child.  Think before you comment about a less than stellar performance or play by another person’s child. The next game it could be your child that makes a mistake. Would you like to hear your child belittled? When it comes to your children, praise them for participating and doing their best. Stay calm when your kid or other kids make a mistake.

Be friendly with the other team.  If you can have friendly conversations with parents from the other team, kids know that their game isn’t a life or death event. Remember they are parents just like you, and their kids are just kids like yours. 

Let your kids see you thanking the officials.  Not only are most of these people volunteers, but many are also kids themselves. By shaking hands and thanking them, you send your kids the message that you appreciate the officials’ effort and respect their authority, regardless of any personal feelings you may have about some of the calls.

Teaching your child sportsmanship

In addition to being a good role model, parents (and parent coaches) should strive to teach kids these basic sportsmanship concepts. 

Follow the directions of the coach.  A child should unquestioningly defer to the coach during a game. If he or she has issues with a coach’s decision, it should be discussed civilly in private after the game. 

Treat officials with fairness, generosity and courtesy.  Throughout the game, your child should ac