The gift of tradition
A parent’s role in encouraging rituals that keep families connected

From the sugar-cookie-baking party at Grandma’s house to the way the ornaments adorn the tree, during the holidays many American families focus on tradition.

Traditions are most obvious during the holiday season, but our lives are interlaced with them – some big, some small, some special, some everyday, some old, some new. The one constant in traditions is the role parents play in passing them on.

“I was always aware of family traditions, but I didn’t really appreciate them until I became a parent,” admits Julie Jacobs of St. Mary’s, Ga., the mother of a 9-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter. “All of a sudden, all of those little things my parents, mostly my mother, did for me and my brother and sister while we were growing up took on new importance.  I suddenly appreciated those traditions and knew that I wanted the same thing for my children.”

Jacobs’ attitude is validated by the majority of Americans in a recent survey conducted by Modern Woodmen of America of Rock Island, Ill., a fraternal financial services organization.

“According to our findings, 77 percent of Americans think it’s very important to pass family traditions on to the next generation,” says Modern Woodmen’s Sharon Snawerdt.

Why traditions are important

Sure, traditions can be fun. They can be sentimental. They can involve a few people or a lot of people. They can happen weekly or sporadically. They can be a lot of work or amazingly simple. But traditions also serve much deeper purposes in families that many of us don’t even think about when participating in them.

First, they are a direct reflection of a family’s beliefs and values. A very meaningful tradition that Jacobs brought from her childhood is praying.  

“Prayers were very important while I was growing up. I am teaching my children several of the bedtime prayers that I said as a child,” she says. “They are also learning the table grace that my mother’s family says. When we gather with the extended family, my 9-year-old knows it and can say it with everyone else.”

Traditions provide a platform for extended family members to gather, which could also be why so many center on holidays.

“In our study, 86 percent of the respondents gather with extended family for a holiday event, such as Christmas or Thanksgiving,” says Snawerdt. Modern Woodmen’s mission is to improve the quality of life for its members and their families. The organization created a Web resource, www.gatherings.info, which offers tips to help plan gatherings and encourages traditions with immediate and extended family.

Traditions also nurture and celebrate intergenerational and extended family relationships. They give us a sense of identity and appreciation for our family history and customs. Sometimes they are the only common denominator among family members, each of whom may have very different lives and interests.

“Traditions are a big component in maintaining extended family relationships,” says Meg Cox, author of “The New Book of New Family Traditions: How to Create Great Rituals for Holidays and Everyday.”

“In today’s world, people are very busy. We need traditions to provide ‘sacred’ time that is protected," Cox says. "If something is a tradition,