Family Values
Why family gatherings are valuable for your health, your happiness and your career

“If you don’t do it, it’s quite easy to forget or just not realize how important it is to maintain family relationships,” says Lanny Owen.

The “it” Lanny refers to is having a family reunion or getting together with extended family. Lanny and his wife Carol, Portland, Tenn., attended one of the first gatherings of the Owen family in many years as a result of winning Modern Woodmen of America’s  2002 Gatherings Sweepstakes at www.gatherings.info.

“To me the idea was kind of new, because my family just never was the kind to get together,” Lanny explains. “It’s just one of the differences between Carol’s family and mine. Many of my family members start work very early in the morning and go until late at night, seven days a week. And I have relatives in the far corners of the United States [who can’t always make it.]”

In recent years, Lanny’s family had gathered only for funerals. But his family is not unusual in today’s fast-paced, full-scheduled society.

Sense of belonging

“Families are more important than ever,” says Dr. Vern Bengtson, professor of gerontology and sociology at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles . “In our fast-changing society, families represent stability. Knowing their relatives really gives people a sense of belonging to a permanent group.”

That sense of belonging is something Lanny has gained. The Owen family’s gathering brought together nearly 50 attendees, including some of Carol’s family members. “It was something quite special,” Lanny says. “Some of my relatives who were there – I had never seen them before!” Lanny has maintained these relationships since the event.

“We are genetically predisposed to cling to our family,” explains Dr. Bengtson. “It is wired into us to need to bond with family members. Historically, family relationships have played the most basic role of all – ensuring survival. Today, most people rely on family interactions to provide an affirming, positive experience. They provide a sense of support and an identity of who we are and what’s unique about us.”

Face time

Given the distance between them and the hectic schedules of Lanny’s extended family members, he’s maintained connections primarily through email since the big gathering. But he and Carol recognize the importance of getting together face-to-face.

“I miss it when we don’t have it,” says Carol. “Both of my grandmothers had a houseful of family every Christmas. There were 87 people at one of the houses!”

“Sometimes there is a sense of something missing if you do not have face-to-face contact,” Dr. Bengtson says. “In-person contact gives you the ability to discern subtle nuances and cues in other people. Body language and gestures say a lot. And touch is very, very important, especially for the very young and very old.”

Maintaining family relationships may even be good for your physical and emotional health.

“We have seen evidence that an increased degree of positive contact with family can add years to your life,” Dr. Bengtson adds. “We have